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thedaimaofanficarchiveTitle: Calendula
~ Calendula ~
Staring out the picture window that already had a fine layer of frost collecting along its edges, Hamao Kyosuke sat in the warm apartment he shared with his boyfriend of two years. He watched the people below as they hurried out of the rain and cold, running as they scrambled to get under shelter. In his hand he held what once was a vibrant potted plant; but looking at it now, Mao finally had to admit to himself that it was just a dead potted plant. What used to be lush, green leaves springing out in every direction; now looked brown and dry, just holding on for dear life to a sagging, brittle stick. Beautiful bright orange flowers that would happily greet Mao every time he came home from a hard day at work, were non-existent now; the petals sadly resembled dried out carcasses collecting on the soil at the base of the dead stem.
Mao sighed, remembering the day that his boyfriend, Daisuke Watanabe, had given him that plant. It had been during the summer, on their second anniversary. They were walking through a local farmer’s market when these beautiful flowers had caught the younger boy’s eyes. Mao was in awe, admiring the blossoms that came in an array of rainbow colors; unaware that his lover was also watching in awe as well, but not at the flowers. They were just getting into the car when Dai told Mao he’d forgotten his wallet at the baker’s stand where they had previously bought cheese bread. Mao frowned, reminding the older man how forgetful he was, but then smiled at the cute childish ‘sorry face’ the taller man quickly made. When the other came back to the car, he held a small pot with sprouts of stunning red-orange blossoms and buds popping out to create what would one day be a beautiful array of flowers.
“Calendula.”
Mao had remembered the florist calling the flowers that, when he had initially saw them at the marketplace. When he got home Mao immediately researched the flowers, looking up how to take care for them, noting how much water they needed, if they needed a special type of fertilizer, and how much sunlight? Dai laughed at the effort the younger man made, telling him to just water the plant when the soil looked dry, but Mao had wanted to take care of this gift, especially because it was from Dai-chan.
But looking at the pot again, Mao frowned. What used to be blossoming with life and color, was now dead and brown because it was left in the care of Mao’s hands. The young man had watched this poor plant basically die over the course of time; just as he had watched his boyfriend Dai become more and more distant over the past few months.
It had been small things that Mao began to notice at first, things like Dai buying himself convenience store ramen before coming home from work late at night, saying that he didn’t want Mao to have to get up to cook him dinner, or to wait up for him so that they could talk about their day like they usually did. He also noticed that Dai had been staying up late to work on his computer, clacking away at the keyboard until the wee hours of the morning. Many times after sleeping alone with only his pillow to hold, Mao would wake up and still hear his boyfriend working hard, or he would find Dai-chan passed out in front of the monitor, his head buried in his arms on top of the surface of the desk.. These past few months had been hard on Mao as he watched Daisuke became more and more quiet, obviously stressed out and so tired all the time. Gone was the sweet, happy, childish man he’d fallen in love with.
In fact, Mao wouldn’t be surprised if Dai even forgot what tonight was. Baba, the couple’s mutual friend, had told Mao that he was being a girl and he shouldn’t worry about it, but to be honest, it did worry Mao. First the plant starts to wither, then his boyfriend, who had bought him that same plant, starts to distance himself, their relationship drying up day by day and withering away just like that plant. The symbolism couldn’t just be coincidental now, could it? It really, really worried Mao!
Mao got up still holding the pot with both hands. He walked into the small kitchen stopping in front of the trashcan. He held the potted corpse above the opening to the bin hesitating for just a moment. Should he throw it away? Why shouldn't he throw it away? It was dead. It was an eyesore. Who keeps dead plants anyway? But this wasn't just any plant, well, at least to Mao it wasn't.
The door opened with a loud creak startling the young man. Mao jumped seeing his boyfriend standing in the doorway staring at him. The brown orbs that would sparkle with mischief or shine with love every time they looked into Mao’s eyes, now seemed dull and expressionless with the man’s exhaustion.
“I’m home.” Dai gave a weak smile and closed the door. Walking over to the small dining table to put down his laptop bag.
“Welcome back. How was work?” Mao threw the dead plant into the trashcan giving it one last look and cringing, as the pot cracked and the soil spilled out over the rest of the garbage.
“Busy, as always.” Dai smiled at his boyfriend again as he walked closer. Mao’s lips grew into a smile as well, dimples appearing in the corners as he looked into those familiar eyes that he loved so much. This time, they had a small sparkle in them as Dai held out a white plastic bag that looked like it had something rather heavy in it.
Mao took the bag, while Dai placed a small peck on the shorter man’s forehead. The younger man placed the bag on the table, pulling the plastic off to reveal yet another potted plant. But this plant was different, it was shaped like a balloon and had little needle like thorns sticking out of it every which way. Mao looked up to Dai, his large eyes silently questioning.
“It’s a cactus.” Dai answered before Mao could ask. “You’ve been pretty down about the flowers dying, so I thought I should get you a plant that basically can’t die.”
Mao looked back at the cactus sitting there on the table. “How do you know it can’t die? That I won’t kill it?”
Dai stuck his bottom lip out and frowned as if pondering the question, “Well, it lives throughout the year, it’s pretty simple to take care of, and you just water it once a week. Plus you made those flowers last pretty long for being annual flowers.”
Mao looked back at his boyfriend again, “What?”
Dai started laughing whole-heartedly now, pulling his boyfriend in for a hug. Mao hugged him tight and then gently pushed him back still looking confused.
“Baba told me. About how you think the plant represents our relationship.” He giggled again sitting down and crossing his leg over the other pointing at the cactus, “There are different kinds of plants. The flowers I got you are supposed to die during the winter.” He started to laugh again.
Mao looked down, his eyebrows furrowed. “Then . . .”
“AH!” Dai stood up clapping his hands, “I forgot.” He rummaged through his workbag and brought out a small box with a red ribbon tied delicately around it. He looked at it for a few seconds, a smile gracing his lips, before turning around to stare at his adorable boyfriend who was still inspecting the cactus.
“Mao.”
Mao turned his attention to the taller man. Dai held the small box out to his boyfrend smiling gently.
“Merry Christmas.”
Large eyes wide with wonder crinkled at the corners, as a smile grew on Mao’s face. Daisuke waited for the moment those two, little dimples that he loved so much made their appearance, as Mao gently took the box from his hands. Carefully opening the small gift, the younger man gasped as he saw the small diamond embedded into a shiny golden band that sparkled under the kitchen light. The beautiful ring seemed to beckon Mao to put it on, as it sat nestled between two velvet black cushions.
“Dai-chan . . .” When Mao looked up at his boyfriend he was surprised to see that the other wasn’t standing where he just was, instead Daisuke was down on one knee looking up at the younger man.
“Hamao Kyosuke, will you marry me?”
Mao’s eyes softened. Looking back at the shining ring, he suddenly realized everything that Dai had done to be able to afford it . . . the late nights, the longs hours at work, the tired dull eyes; all of it was for him. Mao pressed his lips together looking up to the ceiling for a moment to hold back his tears. Sniffing, Mao nodded.
“Yes,” Mao laughed lifting his boyfriend off his knees in to a hug, as warm happy tears ran down his cheeks. “Of course I’ll marry you!!”
Dai broke the hug so he could look at his fiancée, his thumbs gently brushing away the joyful rivulets that ran from Mao’s expressive eyes. “I love you.” Daisuke said softly, gently moving a strand of hair out of the other’s face, as he leaned down to kiss the younger man.
Mao melted into the arms of his lover, hugging Dai-chan close, feeling their hearts beating together as one. Resting his head on the broad shoulders of Dai, Mao glanced once more at the cactus, a soft smile tweaking the corners of his mouth.
What many saw as a rough, prickly desert plant was a symbol of lasting life and love in Mao’s eyes. The annual calendula flowers were like the closing of one chapter in his life, but that only meant that the start of a new one was about to begin.
