The Tale of Gingerbread Mao and the Quest to Find the Christmas Fairy

[thedaimaofanficarchive]

 ►name: daimaoislove

►title: The Tale of Gingerbread Mao and the Quest to Find the Christmas Fairy

►genre: crack/humor

►rating: R (for language and adult themes)

►word count: 12,171

►warnings: This story is ridiculously random and weird. Oh, and beware of bad cookie humor. Approach with caution…you have been warned >.>

►summary: Kyousuke accidentally makes a wish that he’ll soon regret, leaving him and his boyfriend, Daisuke, with no other choice but to go on the cookie adventure of a lifetime. Cats and garbage cans never seemed so menacing! Buckle your seatbelts for this one folks, ‘cause you’ll be flying, climbing, and fighting your way through some crazy obstacles with Daichan and Mao!

►author’s notes: My original ideas, I don’t own the characters, yada yada…enjoy the read??

The Tale of Gingerbread Mao and the Quest to Find the Christmas Fairy

It was Christmas Eve and Daisuke was putting the finishing touches on his freshly baked gingerbread men when he heard the front door to his apartment open. He placed one more M&M button on the last cookie before heading toward the living room where the crackling sound of paper bags steered him toward his flustered boyfriend. Said boyfriend almost didn’t notice Daisuke approaching, but became startled and yelped girlishly when he caught sight of him, almost dropping the odd-looking figurine he was carrying in his hands.

Daisuke laughed at his lover’s antics. “So you were out shopping after all…I thought we agreed that we weren’t exchanging Christmas gifts this year,” he chided lightheartedly, eyeing the hideous porcelain—what was that, a fairy?—that Kyousuke was holding onto.

“It’s not a Christmas gift!” the younger man exclaimed with wide eyes. Daisuke raised an unconvinced eyebrow, giving Kyousuke no choice but to surrender. “Alright, it is a gift. But it was supposed to be a surprise!”

Daisuke sighed, “Mao, if you really wanted to exchange presents this year, you should’ve told me!” he reprimanded, addressing Kyousuke by his pet name. “Besides, it was your idea not to in the first place, but now I feel bad for not getting you anything…” he ended with a pout.

“Ah, it’s okay,” Mao smiled, stepping toward his handsome, yet adorable boyfriend so he could kiss his pouted lips. “I wanted you to have it at midnight, but I guess I have no choice but to give it to you right now. Merry Christmas, Daichan!” he exclaimed as he held the gift out to Daisuke with excitement.

The older man took the foot-long disaster of a figurine (fairy?) with a forced smile and awkward laugh. “I uh, love it, honey! But um, what is it?”

And why, out of all the things you could have gotten me, did you have to get this? Was the question that he figured was better left unspoken.  

“Okay, I know what you’re thinking, but before you misjudge it, hear me out!” Kyousuke said with a chuckle, noticing his boyfriend’s conflicted expression.

“N-no, I love it, really! But what is it, though?” Daisuke remarked, turning the figurine around to observe it with almost concealed bemusement.

“It’s a magical Christmas fairy, silly!” Mao replied in a chipper voice.

Christmas fairy, perhaps…magical, definitely not. Daisuke told himself internally. He thought it would be best if he didn’t voice that opinion out loud either. “I thought so…” he mumbled, instead.

Kyousuke shook his head good-naturedly and took the figurine out of Daisuke’s grasp, which seemed to snap the latter back to reality.

“Look, this is no ordinary Christmas fairy, okay. It’s magical!” the younger man asserted.

“Yes, we’ve established that already, babe.”

Kyousuke sighed, “Daichan, for once can you just let me explain without any interruptions?”

“Sorry.”

Mao continued, “I wasn’t originally planning on buying you a gift, like we agreed. But as I was picking up some groceries for our Christmas party tomorrow, I noticed a small shop downtown that I’ve never seen before, so I decided to check it out—”

“And the shopkeeper there convinced you to buy this magical fairy thing, is that right?” Daisuke interrupted again.

Kyousuke furrowed his eyebrows, “Can you let me finish my story, please?”

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to be—okay go on,” the elder stuttered hurriedly, gesturing for his lover to continue. He made a mental note to keep unnecessary comments to himself until his boyfriend was finished speaking.

After hesitating a moment, the younger continued, “Anyways, like I was saying…I was passing by the shop and decided to check it out. It turned out to be a magic shop! I looked around for a while, and the shopkeeper showed me this,” he said, holding the figurine out for emphasis, “and he told me that once a year on Christmas Eve, this fairy can make any one wish come true!”

Daisuke was itching to casually mention how he didn’t believe in magic, but he held his tongue and nodded instead.

“I know you don’t believe in these things,” Mao said, causing Daisuke to protest. “And to be honest, I don’t either. But I thought it looked pretty cool and I figured I could give it to you, because, well…you’ve made all my wishes come true, so if there was even the slightest chance that this thing worked, I wanted to give you the opportunity to have your wishes come true also.” At that point, Kyousuke’s face began to heat up and he really hoped (but doubted) that it hadn’t turned red.

Daisuke’s heart swelled with affection at the sight of his blushing boyfriend, more than pleased with the sudden confession. He gently took the figurine out of Kyousuke’s tight clutch and embraced him as he ran his fingers through his hair. “You’ve already made my wish come true. You are my wish,” he proclaimed romantically. The younger felt his heart race at those words, and before he knew it, his mouth was met with the sweet brush of Daisuke’s lips.

Kyousuke pulled away from the kiss with an adorable smile, and the elder decided to continue playing along to keep his mind off of ravishing his boyfriend right then. “So are you going to show me how this thing works, or not?”

With childlike excitement, Kyousuke took the figurine again to show his boyfriend what to do. “Okay, so basically, you need to hold it above your head, like this,” he demonstrated cutely, “and then you need to turn around three times…like this.” Again, the young man went through the motions, causing his lover to bite his lip in an attempt to refrain from laughing, especially when Kyousuke became tipsy from spinning in circles a few times. “And then, you need to close your eyes and make a wish! For example, I wish I was a gingerbread man!”

Daisuke burst with a fit of laughter, unable to hold it in any longer. “What kind of wish was that?! You could’ve wished for a million dollars, you know!” he teased.

Kyousuke laughed along, “Sorry, I didn’t think of that! I’m just really hungry and those cookies you made smell really good, that’s all I had on my mind.”

Daisuke put his hands over Kyousuke’s waist and grinned, “You know, for a moment there, I almost thought you made that wish because you wanted me to eat you,” he insinuated.

Mao pushed him away with a playful giggle. “Daichan! Don’t say things like that, it’s embarrassing!”

“So that is what you meant,” Daisuke retorted with a sly smirk.

Kyousuke returned a smirk of his own and approached his boyfriend seductively, putting his arms around his neck. “Maybe I did…” he said in a breathy whisper. “So what’re you gonna do about it?”

Daisuke swore that the temperature in the room had shot up several degrees, right at that instant. He placed his arms around his lover’s waist and lowered his hands to squeeze his buttocks, causing the younger’s gaze to cloud with desire. “You know…” Daisuke rasped, “I was thinking about taking you right here on that couch.” Kyousuke bit his lip, feeling his body heat rise as his lover kneaded his willing flesh. “Would you like to know what I’m going to do right now?” Daisuke then questioned, causing the younger to moan when he gave his bottom a particularly tight squeeze. Mao nodded wordlessly, anxiously waiting for his boyfriend to push him onto the sofa and fuck him senseless. “I…”

“Mhmm…”

“I’m going to…”

Kyousuke nodded again, his eyes dark and intense, silently urging his lover to speak the dirty words he wished to hear.

Daisuke took a deep breath, “I’m going to take a quick shower and get right back to you,” he stated casually all of a sudden, causing his young boyfriend to instantly sober from his lust.

“What the hell, Daichan?!” Kyousuke exclaimed, hitting Daisuke’s chest. He was definitely turned off by the sudden change of events. It was at times like this that the younger did not appreciate his boyfriend’s spontaneous personality.

“Sorry honey, but I’m all sticky and greasy from baking cookies all morning, I really need to get cleaned up…and then we can pick up from where we left off,” Daisuke’s voice had dropped a couple of octaves, but it was not enough for Mao to get back in the mood.

“Oh, stop it. Go take your stupid shower and I’ll put the groceries away by the time you get out,” Kyousuke muttered, still unamused.

“Alright, love,” Daisuke said nonchalantly as he walked to the hallway. Turning back, he added with a wink, “But feel free to come in and join me at any time,” to which Mao responded by throwing a crumpled paper bag at him, causing the older man to yell out his apologies as he ran toward the bathroom.

“Baka…” Kyousuke mumbled with a shake of his head. He loved his boyfriend to death, but every once in a while, he made him want to pull his hair out in frustration.

After quickly putting the groceries away (and sneakily eating a few cookies while he was at it), Mao decided to lie down on the sofa for a while and take a little cat nap by the time Daisuke was done with his shower.

It ended up being a cat nap, indeed…

Not even 10 minutes had gone by and Kyousuke was getting tickled by his cat’s whiskers. He smiled and reached over to pull the feline close, but something did not feel right for some reason.

Since when had Roku grown so BIG?

Kyousuke popped an eye open to make sure that he wasn’t imagining things, and shrieked when he saw a literally giant Roku looming over him with dilated pupils.

“W-what’s going on!” he yelled in panic as he backed up into the corner of the sofa. Looking around, the young man realized that everything in the apartment was far bigger than he knew it to be.

Did he shrink or something?

Mao had no time to think. Roku was inching closer and licked his whiskers hungrily, almost ready to pounce.

He had to act fast.

In a matter of moments he sprinted off the couch and onto the ground through the cat’s legs, hoping to find a crevice to hide in before his pet could catch him. Thankfully, Roku was not particularly clever, and looked around with confusion after his prey managed to get away, buying the young man a little bit of time.

Kyousuke looked around in a panic, his adrenaline was soaring. Where on earth could he hide in order to escape his cat’s menacing claws?

On spur of the moment, Mao remembered that there was a mouse hole in the kitchen wall and figured that it would be his safest bet. Boy was he glad that Daisuke had procrastinated and hadn’t sealed it up yet like he was supposed to!

He quickly looked behind him to make sure that Roku was a good enough distance away for him to take the risk. Seeing that his cat was still sniffing around the couch, he dashed for his life toward the kitchen. Kyousuke usually considered himself a pretty fast runner, but even at top speed, he felt that he was not moving as swiftly as he would’ve hoped. It almost felt like his entire body was stiff. Without much time to think about it, he attributed the tense sensation to his fear of being eaten by his own pet.

Finally in the kitchen, Mao spotted the wall crevice he was seeking, right across from the stove, and ran for it, picking up speed when he heard Roku’s collar bells ringing dangerously nearby. He was too frightened to look back, but he could practically feel the feline’s hot breath on his trail.

A few moments later, he finally arrived at his supposed safe haven. The only problem was that his body was too big to fit in the small hole, and he was not able to get in. Kyousuke inwardly cursed his broad shoulders, and without any other hope, he decided to accept his fate and say his prayers.

After all, he was cornered and there was no way out. Feeling (and smelling) Roku’s fishy breath coming nearer and nearer, and right before he could wonder what evil he had done in his life to deserve such a terrible death, an angel seemed to appear out of nowhere to save him.

“Ada boy, Roku, did you finally catch that mouse?”

Or it was just Daisuke. Either way, Mao had never been more relieved in his entire life than he was when his boyfriend scared the cat away. Thank heavens Roku never liked the older man.

“Ah, stupid cat…” Daisuke grumbled, as he usually did when Roku avoided him like the plague. Since he obviously did not notice him, Kyousuke wondered if he should call out to the elder, who now looked at least a hundred times his size.

Nothing made sense to Mao at the moment, but he took the situation in stride anyway and decided to call out to his boyfriend for assistance. “Daichan! Help me, baby! I’m right here!” he shouted.

Daisuke stopped in his tracks and looked around, swearing that he could hear his lover calling for him. “Heh? Mao, where are you, love? Are you okay?” he answered back, turning every which way to locate the source of the sound.

“I’m over here!” the younger called again.

Daisuke turned around a couple of times, perplexed. He knew his boyfriend was calling for him, and he knew he was somewhere in the kitchen…but where?

Oh my god, he can’t see me…have I turned invisible? No, that can’t be right. If I did, Roku wouldn’t have been able to see me either. Or maybe cats have some sort of weird x-ray vision…?

As Kyousuke wondered why his boyfriend could not see him, even as he looked him straight in the eye, Daisuke fleetingly noticed that one of his gingerbread men was on the floor. He would have thought twice about why it was there in the first place, but his mind was too consumed with finding and helping his distressed-sounding boyfriend.

Mao decided to try again, this time waving his arms frantically in an attempt to catch his lover’s attention. He really hoped he wasn’t invisible. “Watanabe Daisuke, I’m right over here, can’t you see me?!”

Daisuke scanned the entire kitchen one more time as he called out to his boyfriend, “Mao? Baby, tell me where you are, I can’t…find…you…” he drawled when he caught sight of something disturbing. Was that gingerbread man waving at him? Daisuke shook his head with disbelief, nearly forgetting that his boyfriend urgently needed his help.

Daisuke, you’re seeing things again and that’s completely normal…remember what the psychiatrist told you. Breathe in…and out…

The lack of a response from Daisuke caused Kyousuke to grow even more frenzied, and he began jumping up and down, waving his arms wildly in the air as he shouted, “It’s me, Daichan! I’m over here, please help me!”

“What in the good lord’s name…” Daisuke muttered. He inched in closer to get a better look at the gingerbread cookie that was now jumping up and down, and Mao smiled with relief when his lover finally noticed him.

“Daichan, thank goodness you’ve found me! Something horrible has happened, baby! I went to sleep while you were showering, but when I woke up—” Kyousuke was not able to continue his sentence as soon as Daisuke’s eyes rolled back when he lost consciousness. “Oh my—Daichan! Daichan, are you okay, honey?!” he cried, rushing to his boyfriend’s side to nudge him awake.  “Daisuke, please wake up, this is an emergency!”

Mao patted his boyfriend’s face to wake him, and in a matter of no time, Daisuke’s eyes slowly fluttered open. In his blurred vision, he could make out a figure, whom he assumed was Kyousuke; however, when his line of sight came into focus, the appearance of a gingerbread man almost made him faint once more.

“No, Daichan, don’t leave me! You need to wake up, something horrible has happened to me and I don’t know what to do!” Kyousuke urged as he continued slapping his boyfriend’s cheek.

“M-Mao?” Daisuke stuttered, “Is that really you?”

“Yes! Yes, it’s me, baby! Look, I don’t know what the hell happened, but somehow I’ve been shrunken to the size of a—”

“Cookie?”

“Daichan, this is not the time for jokes, alright? This is a serious matter!”

Daisuke eased himself up into a sitting position. With the way Mao was speaking, he doubted that his boyfriend knew what really happened to him. He tried to choose his words carefully so that he would not freak his lover out. “I’m not joking, you really did turn into a cookie,” he stated bluntly, instead. “A gingerbread man to be exact.”

“Wait, what?” Kyousuke exclaimed in confusion. Daisuke didn’t look like he was kidding around, but it had to be a joke…right?

Slowly, Mao turned around to face his reflection in the stainless steel stove. What he saw almost made him pass out: he had indeed, turned into a gingerbread man. Complete with M&M buttons and frosting frills. 

“Oh. My. God.” Kyousuke held his confectionary head to keep it from spinning.

Out of nowhere, the elder began chuckling, “Wait…this is a dream, isn’t it? People don’t just turn into cookies, this is all just a figment of my imagination!” he said to himself as his laughter grew louder. “This is all just some silly dream!” Mao plucked an M&M button off of himself and threw it at Daisuke’s head. “Ouch! What the hell was that for?!” the elder whined as he rubbed the sore spot.

“Daichan, stop being ridiculous, you’re not dreaming, okay!”

Still rubbing his head, Daisuke replied, “You’re calling me ridiculous? How do you want me to believe that my boyfriend, who was 100% human about a half an hour ago, has turned into a godforsaken cookie all of a sudden?!”

Kyousuke took a deep breath. He could understand why it would be so hard for anyone to comprehend the situation, he barely knew what was going on himself. “Look Daichan, I don’t know how or why, but I’ve been transformed into gingerbread man for some reason. This is not a dream, its reality, and I’m really scared. Please help me…” he pleaded with sparkling, gum drop eyes.

Daisuke picked his boyfriend up carefully and observed him with concern. “Oh my god, Mao…it really is you.” He stood up. “Listen, I’m going to find a way to undo this, alright? Don’t be afraid, baby. Just try to remember anything that might have caused this to happen so we can trace the source of the problem.”

Kyousuke thought for a moment. How on earth could he have been turned into a cookie when all he had done was— OH! he thought when he realized something important. “Daichan…” he began.

“Yeah, honey? Did you remember anything?” Daisuke urged.

“It was the Christmas fairy,” Kyousuke replied simply. His boyfriend was a bit confused. “It was that Christmas fairy I bought today. Remember how I wished to be turned into a gingerbread man?”

Daisuke’s jaw dropped as understanding dawned on him. “Good god, that thing really is magic! I told you that you should’ve wished for a million dollars, we could’ve been millionaires now!”

“Daichan!” Mao scolded. “I’ve been turned into a fucking cookie and all you can think about is money at a time like this?!”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! You’re right, we should be thinking about how to reverse this…this wish,” Daisuke exclaimed apologetically.

“Wish?” Kyousuke scoffed, “More like curse!” He then began to whine. “Damnit, I’m such a fool! If I hadn’t bought that weird figurine in the first place, everything would be just fine right now!”

“Hold on, wait!” Daisuke interrupted when a light bulb turned on in his head. “That magic shop you bought it from…where is it?”

“Its downtown, across the street from that one smoke shop you go to, why?”

“Because that bastard of a shopkeeper who sold this thing to you might know how to help us, let’s go!”

And with that, Daisuke placed his boyfriend in a handbag and hurried out to the magic shop, hoping and praying that it had not already closed early for Christmas Eve.

+++

The bells over the doorway to the magic shop rang loudly as Daisuke barged in, calling out for the owner of the store with barely restrained rage.

“What’s all this ruckus?!” the frazzled shopkeeper exclaimed as he came out of the back room to see what was going on. “Can I help you with anything, Sir?”

Daisuke banged a fist on the counter, and from the inside of the handbag, Kyousuke had to facepalm; he knew the storm was coming. Daisuke just had to cause a scene, he was expecting it.

“Excuse me, I don’t know who you are or what you want, but that’s no way to come in here and—”

Before the shopkeeper could continue scolding him, Daisuke cut him off by grabbing him by the collar, threatening, “Listen here, you good for nothing wizard! If you don’t reverse this…this curse off of my boyfriend, I swear I’m going to—”

“Security! Police! Someone help!” the shopkeeper began wailing in panic.

To get him to quiet down, Daisuke had no choice but to let him go and reason with him another way. He took a deep breath to calm himself. “Look, I’m sorry I barged in like this, but I mean you no harm,” he said through clenched teeth, trying with all his might to restrain himself from punching the store owner right there and then.

The shopkeeper didn’t buy it. Expecting the worst, he accused, “You’re a thief, aren’t you? You came here to steal my money! Police! Someone please help me!”

Before the insane shopkeeper could shout out any more accusations, Daisuke had no choice but to cover his mouth to silence him. All the while, Mao was sitting patiently in the bag, shaking his ginger and nutmeg-spiced head in embarrassment. “Baka…” he muttered under his breath.

“Look, I’m not a thief and I don’t want to steal anything!” Daisuke reassured, trying to keep the other man still.

“If you don’t want my money, why’d you come in here threatening me like that?” the shopkeeper managed to say, despite the fact that his voice was muffled by Daisuke’s palm over his mouth.

“Listen, my boyfriend came in here earlier and bought some magic fairy thing and now he’s a cookie and you’re the only person that can help us!” Daisuke quickly explained before letting his victim loose.

The store owner’s eyes went wide with understanding as he finally calmed down, straightening his eyeglasses and tie to gain composure. “Oh, I remember him! He came in here a little while ago and asked for something special to buy for his boyfriend!”

“That would be me,” Daisuke stated flatly.

“But wait, that doesn’t make sense…I thought he bought that magic fairy for you, why did he make the wish? And why on earth did he wish to become a cookie?” he questioned, perplexed.

“It’s a long story…but the point is, my boyfriend is a gingerbread man now and we need to find out how to reverse the wish so he can be human again!”

The shopkeeper listened intently with a nod. “Is this boyfriend of yours, the gingerbread man, with you now?” he asked.

“Yes,” Daisuke responded, reaching into his bag for Kyousuke. He gently placed the cookie upright on the counter and watched as the shopkeeper observed the specimen with amazement.

“So you’re that kid who was in here earlier, huh?”

“I am,” Mao responded. “I made a terrible mistake and now this happened to me,” he continued, gesturing to himself. “Since you know so much about the Christmas fairy and magic, I was hoping that you can help me. I don’t want to stay a cookie forever.”

“And frankly, I don’t want to date a gingerbread man,” Daisuke piped in. Kyousuke glared, causing his boyfriend to shrink back. “Sorry,” he mumbled in the background.

Mao turned his attention toward the shopkeeper once more. “Please, please say you can help me!” he begged.

“Hmm…” the store owner hummed as he gave the matter some thought, placing a finger to his chin in contemplation. “To be completely honest, I myself had no idea that the figurine I sold you today really was magical.”

“What?! So you sold me something without even knowing what it was?!” Mao protested.

“Hey, if I knew it really worked, I would’ve used it myself and wished for a million dollars,” the shopkeeper said nonchalantly.

Daisuke perked up again, “See, anyone would’ve wished for a million dollars, but you just had to wish to become a gingerbre—sorry,” he stopped himself when he received another glare from Kyousuke.

“Okay, I’m in a critical situation here, can everyone please just cooperate with me?!” the angry cookie bellowed.

Daisuke and the store owner mumbled their apologies in unison.

The shopkeeper then tried to think of some way to help the couple out. “Alright, look…it’s true that I had no idea that figurine had magical powers, but I do know a thing or two about the legendary Christmas fairy. I majored in mythology, you know,” he added proudly.

“What kind of college offers a degree in mythology?” Daisuke muttered to himself. This time, it was the shopkeeper’s turn to glare at him.

“Any-ways…I remember that the Christmas fairy can grant any single wish to one person on Christmas Eve, as I’ve told you earlier,” Kyousuke nodded frantically, urging the shopkeeper to say something he didn’t already know. “And that if you wanted to reverse that wish for whatever reason, you have only until midnight to do so, or else…”

“Or else, what?” Mao asked with worry.

“Or else the wish can’t be taken back.”

“Shit,” Daisuke exclaimed.

“Well, that shouldn’t be too much of a problem, right? I can always just go back home right now and reverse the wish by using that figurine,” Mao remarked optimistically.

The shopkeeper did not seem as optimistic as Kyousuke was, causing a feeling of dread to wash over the cookie like cold milk. “I’m afraid it’s not that simple,” he explained.

Daisuke countered, “But why not, didn’t you just say—”

“In order to have your wish taken back, you need to find the actual Christmas fairy and give him a gift. Legend has it he’s very fickle too, so if you’re not able to appease him with your offering, he can refuse to help you.”

“So you’re saying I’ve got to deal with some neurotic fairy that has mood swing issues,” Kyousuke stated flatly.

“I would think you’d be used to that by now,” the shopkeeper said indiscreetly as he narrowly eyed Daisuke in his periphery. Daisuke just stuck his tongue out at him.

Mao sighed. “Fine. I guess I have no choice. So where is this ‘Christmas fairy’ fellow and how can we find him?”

“Well…” the shopkeeper hesitated, causing Mao and Daisuke to become anxious, “Your best bet is to try finding him in a forest in the lone mountain, northeast of here. Luckily, it shouldn’t be more than a good two hour train ride, and if you leave now, you might be able to make it there before the sun goes down.”

“In that case, let’s get going baby!” Daisuke exclaimed, getting ahead of himself.

 Before he could snatch his boyfriend and make for the door, Kyousuke held out his arms to halt him. “Hold on, wait a minute,” the cookie said, “You’re telling us this fairy guy can be anywhere on that mountain?”

“In a forest, to be exact,” the shopkeeper corrected. “And you’re lucky global warming was on your side this year. As far as I know, it shouldn’t be snowing in the mountains right now because of the weather being warmer than usual. Doesn’t mean it won’t still be cold though.”

If Mao could roll his gum drop eyes, he would have. “But you’re saying he can literally be anywhere in that entire forest…?”

“Yup.”

Kyousuke shook his head. “Then if I understood you correctly, I have only until midnight to get to some forest, on some mountain about two hours away…and if I don’t find this fairy, I’m going to be stuck as cookie for the rest of my life?!”

“That’s exactly what I said, yes.”

One moment, Mao just stared blankly at the store owner’s complacent expression, and the next moment, the gingerbread man attacked him out of nowhere to wipe the smug smile off his face.

Things then became a bit hectic: Kyousuke was yelling profanities as he clung on to the shopkeeper like a starfish clasping onto a rock…the store owner was crying and shouting for help as he tried to pry the cookie off his face…and Daisuke was flailing around them as he tried in vain to intervene.

After a while, Daisuke was finally able to detach his boyfriend from the man’s face so that the latter could finally breathe.

“First, you sell me that fairy from hell, and then you tell me that I need to search an entire forest for this fairy on Christmas Eve?!” Mao shouted in rage. “Oh, and even if I do find him, I still have to give him a present that only heaven knows if he’ll like, or I’ll be doomed to live out the rest of my life as a fucking pastry?!”

“Cookies aren’t pastries,” Daisuke corrected, only to get a glare from both Mao and the shopkeeper before he shrunk back.

“Look, there isn’t much more I can do for you, alright!” the shopkeeper then retorted. “I’m telling you what I know but something like this has never happened before, so there’s only so much I can do to help! Besides, instead of blaming me, you should blame yourself for making such an absurd wish!”

Kyousuke was about to leap at the store owner’s face once more, but this time, Daisuke was able to hold him back. The cookie then dusted some crumbs off of himself and gained composure. “Alright, fine. We’ve wasted enough time here, Daisuke. We should head out of here before it gets too late,” he decided with a huff. “But we’re taking your number and you had better answer your phone if we call for help!” he added, pointing toward the store owner.

The shopkeeper yielded, “Fine, here,” he sighed as handed the couple a business card, “If you need something you can call me any time. I suppose this whole mess is partially my responsibility anyway…as a matter of fact, give me your number as well so I can reach you if I think of anything that might help.”

While Mao gave him the number, Daisuke looked over the card which read, Baba Ryouma, Ph.D. He almost wanted to snort out loud when he saw the suffix. “I didn’t realize they offered doctoral programs in mythology too,” Daisuke mocked inaudibly. The shopkeeper eyed him suspiciously but did not say anything.

“We should get going, Daichan,” Mao suddenly remarked, bringing Daisuke’s attention back to the situation at hand. “It’s going to be sundown soon and we have a lot of ground to cover before midnight.”

“Again, I’m really sorry about what happened, but I’ll do my best to try and help,” Ryouma stated as the couple got ready to leave. Before they could head for the door, however, he stopped them. “Here,” he said, handing them a small jar filled with what looked like white glitter. “Try giving this to the Christmas fairy as a gift. Fairies love anything that sparkles, I’m sure he’ll like it.” Besides, it’s been sitting on the shelf for months, I’ve gotta get rid of it somehow, he said to himself as an afterthought.

“Thank you very much!” Daisuke exclaimed as he placed the jar next to his boyfriend in the handbag before leaving in haste.

The shopkeeper watched them depart, shaking his head with pity. “I really hope you find that fairy, kid…”

+++

It was a twenty minute stroll to the train station but Daisuke was speed-walking as fast as his legs could carry him in hopes of arriving there in ten. There was no time to waste, considering they had an entire forest to scavenge in order to find the Christmas fairy by midnight. Occasionally, Daisuke would check in on his boyfriend by peeking into the handbag to see if he was alright, and for a while, he even tried having a conversation with him. He thought it would be best to stop doing that, however, when people began giving him weird looks for seemingly talking to himself in public.

Before they reached the station, Mao decided to see for himself where they were. Since Daisuke had stopped talking to him for some reason a little while ago, he had grown restless from a mixture of anxiety and boredom. He carefully lifted himself up to peek out of the bag, and looked behind their path at the bustling streets, people scurrying every which way to get some last-minute Christmas shopping done before going home for the evening.

As Mao entertained himself with people-watching, a huffing Daisuke picked up his pace a notch when he spotted the train station coming into view. What the elder did not notice, however, was the large crack on the ground that he was about to trip over.

“Oii!” Daisuke yelped as he lost his footing, almost falling face-forward onto the concrete. “Fuck, that was close,” he muttered to himself once he gained composure, glancing around to see if anyone watched him trip. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that nobody saw his embarrassing moment.

Daisuke then continued on until he arrived at the train station a few minutes later. “We’re finally at the station, baby…you alright by the way?” he subtly murmured at his purse. “Love? Are you alright in there?” he asked again when he did not receive a response from his boyfriend. When he looked into the bag to check on Mao, Daisuke’s eyes widened in shock and panic when he did not find the cookie. “Mao?! Mao please tell me you’re in here somewhere!” he cried aloud, causing a scene as he searched frantically through the handbag. “Oh my god, I must have lost him! Daisuke, what have you done?!” he shouted in self-reproach.

“Excuse me, Sir, did you lose something valuable? I might be able to help you but you need to calm down, you are alarming everyone here,” a security guard said, approaching a distressed Daisuke.

“I need to find him,” Daisuke declared to no one in particular before turning to the security guard to ask for assistance. “Please help me, I need to find him!”

“Have you lost your child, Sir? If that’s the case, I’ll call for back up right away,” the security asserted, pulling his walkie out.

“No, no! I haven’t lost a kid or anything like that, I’ve lost my boy—I lost a cookie,” Daisuke amended, not knowing how else to explain the situation. Nobody would believe him anyway and he did not want to look crazy.

“A cookie?” the security guard repeated, hoping that he had heard it wrong. Daisuke nodded his head, causing the other man to lose his resolve. This fool is mad… he thought to himself as he eyed Daisuke skeptically. “Alright, Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave—”

“Wait, I know! I must have lost him when I tripped a while ago, he must have fell out of my bag! Fuck, I’m such an idiot sometimes!” Daisuke exclaimed, turning around quickly to run out of the station without warning.

The security guard scoffed, shaking his head as he watched Daisuke go. “Idiot? More like lunatic. The shit I’ve got to deal with on Christmas Eve…”

+++

Kyousuke happily watched people passing him by on the street, some with bags full of presents for loved ones, some hurrying to supermarkets and gift shops to buy some last-minute Christmas goods before closing time…it was such a lively sight indeed. Watching people almost made him feel human again. Almost.

Mao looked down at his arms hanging over the edge of the handbag; nothing but two flattened, brown extensions of baked dough and sugary icing. What has become of him in the past couple of hours? He went from being a 24 year old man to a 12 centimeter cookie. It was still hard to believe.

Before he could pity himself or shed a non-existent tear, he suddenly heard his boyfriend yelp, and in a mere second, Mao was in the air before landing flat on the ground. The fall hurt awfully badly, but he was thankful that his body did not so much as crack or crumble. After a moment, he was finally able to stand upright, and spotted Daisuke dusting himself off as he glanced around shyly, before walking ahead in haste without even looking back.

“Daichan! Daichan, don’t go, please don’t leave me here!” Mao cried desperately, trying to run after his beloved while he avoided getting stepped on by random passersby.

When the cookie’s legs gave out, he followed Daisuke with his eyes until he could no longer see him in the distance before giving up hope, crouching down on the edge of the sidewalk near a trashcan and shivering from the cold as he silently cried.

“What am I going to do now?” he asked in despair, coddling himself. “How can this day possibly get any worse?”

 As if on cue, a little toddler that had managed to run out of his mother’s grasp, happened to notice what nobody else had: a stray cookie, conveniently located on the side of the road, ready to be eaten.

Unbeknownst to Kyousuke, his predator wobbled toward him, ignoring his mother’s frantic calls. “Yuki! Yuki, get over here right now!”

As if this disastrous day had not been traumatizing enough, things took a turn for the worst when the young child grasped Mao’s brittle little body and brought him toward his gaping mouth.

Luckily, Kyousuke barely even got a chance to scream before he was rescued from the jaws of death.

“Yuki, don’t ever run away from mommy again, you hear?! And don’t eat dirty things off the ground, you can get sick! Come here you naughty boy,” the toddler’s mother scolded, snatching and discarding the cookie in the trash bin before walking off with the boy. The gingerbread man released the breath he was holding, relieved to have escaped an untimely end once again.

When Mao finally noticed that he was surrounded in garbage, however, he nearly gagged. “Shit,” he complained as he stood up on a greasy paper plate, “And I thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse…”

As the gingerbread man freed himself of a noodle wound around his leg, he wondered how on earth he would be able to get out of the bind he was currently in. To his great relief, he hardly begun expecting the worst before hearing a voice he was all too familiar with.

“Mao, where are you?”

It was Daisuke…

+++

Mao hurriedly climbed up side of the garbage can in hopes of catching up with Daisuke before the latter would go off in search of him elsewhere. “I’m in here, Daichan,” he whisper-screamed, praying that his boyfriend would somehow hear him.

“I know I tripped around here somewhere,” Kyousuke then heard Daisuke say close by.

The cookie tried to call out again, as subtly as possible, “Daichan…Daichan I’m over here,” he hissed as he continued to ascend the wall of the trash bin.

Daisuke perked up when he thought he heard his boyfriend’s voice. “Mao? Is that you, where are you?” At this point, he was indifferent to the judgmental stares he was getting from passersby.

“I’m over here!” the cookie hissed again, finally reaching the top of the trash can. “Look back, Daichan!”

Right as Daisuke looked behind him, he caught a quick glimpse of the gingerbread man hanging off the top edge of the garbage bin before falling back in, unable to hold his weight for very long. Mao cursed his brittle-baked arms and whimpered when he fell atop a moldy sandwich. Luckily, though, his boyfriend hurried over to save him.

For Daisuke, it was harder to ignore the weird looks he was getting this time around when he literally dug through the trash in the middle of public. He could feel his face heat with embarrassment as he saw the looks of disgust on peoples’ faces as they watched him, but he could not bring himself to care too much about it for the sake of his boyfriend.

When he was finally able to fish the cookie out of the garbage, Daisuke felt relieved, albeit he was quite disgusted, not to mention abashed, as well. “You alright, baby?” he tried to mutter discreetly, promptly seeking a public bathroom to wash his hands in after safely placing his lover back in his bag.

Mao returned a barely audible hum to reassure his boyfriend, and Daisuke let out a sigh of relief. Now all he had to do was get cleaned up, and they could be off to the forest to search for the Christmas fairy.

+++

Daisuke washed his hands for the tenth time in the train station restroom with Mao standing near him on the sink, looking longingly at the foamy soap and running tap. He had never wanted (nor needed) a shower so badly in his entire life, but had to stay clear of water lest he wished to become a pile of mush.

“I’m sure your hands are clean enough by now, you know,” Kyousuke commented sarcastically as Daisuke pumped the soap dispenser for the eleventh time. “And I thought I was the one with OCD tendencies…”

“You don’t know the things I had to touch in that garbage before I found you,” Daisuke said with a shiver as he lathered his hands aggressively.

Kyousuke scoffed, and Daisuke was just glad nobody else was in the restroom area at that time to see him. “I practically had to swim in that junk…I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take the trash out again after today.”

“Don’t worry, honey, I can help you with that from now on. The important thing is for you to get back to normal again and that’s all that matters.”

Kyousuke smiled at his boyfriend’s genuineness, really wishing he could give him a kiss right then. “I love you, Daichan.”

“I love you too,” Daisuke said lovingly, smiling back at the cookie as he dried off his hands. “Come on, baby, we really should get going now or we’ll miss our train.” Mao nodded, feeling a bit more on the positive side, and jumped back into the bag, eager to get this show on the road.

+++

“Our train should be arriving any minute now, love,” Daisuke discreetly said to his handbag to reassure his boyfriend that they would be off soon (the security guard from earlier was the only one that noticed him from afar, but decided to leave him alone, assuming that he had enough issues to deal with).

“Thank goodness, I’m getting really cramped in here,” Mao replied, quiet enough for nobody except for Daisuke to hear him.

The elder then noticed the security guard from earlier, staring at him judgmentally. “Uh Mao, I won’t be able to talk to you for a while, alright. I’m starting to get weird looks again, I don’t want to seem crazy.”

“No problem, love.”

Daisuke placed the handbag carefully by his side on the bench while he waited, and glanced at his watch. Just ten more minutes until their train’s arrival.

Beep

The older man pulled out his mobile phone when it buzzed and noticed a text message from a strange number.

I just remembered something that might help you!

Look for the North Star. It will lead you to an area full

of cedar trees in the magical forest. The fairy will be on

the highest tree and you can summon him from there.

 

“That must be the owner of the magic shop…Mao, good news, that shopkeeper remembered something that might—hey, wait a minute!” Daisuke yelled when a thief grabbed his bag and made a run for it. “Stop! Thief!” he called in a panic, running after the masked man, followed by the security guard who had witnessed the theft.

Mao, who was inside the bag, began freaking out when he realized he was being kidnapped (cookienapped?). Oh my god, oh my god, what am I going to do now?! Daisuke please help me! he thought with desperation, afraid to let his voice be heard.

Daisuke and the security ran as fast as they could to catch up with the person who had stolen the bag, and Daisuke especially was not about to give up until he got his boyfriend back safely. Despite the warnings, however, the thief was adamant on getting away with his crime, and picked up speed when he sensed his chasers catch up to him.

“Stop right there, motherfucker!” Daisuke threatened as he accelerated toward the thief, his adrenaline high and pushing him forward at top-speed.

The gingerbread man became increasingly more frightened as the chase continued. Oh god, why does shit like this always have to happen to me?!

Seeing that there was no other choice, the security guard called for backup as he continued sprinting forward, but Daisuke paid him no heed, determined to rescue his boyfriend himself, even if it took everything he’d got.

How long the chase continued for, nobody knew, but as far as they did know, however, they ended up chasing the thief into an alleyway. In an effort to outsmart them, the perpetrator turned a sharp corner, hoping to disappear through some hidden route, but unfortunately for him, he became trapped in a dead end.

“Daichan, please help me!” Mao cried quietly when he felt that they had come to a stop.

Daisuke, and the now two other security guards, finally had the thief cornered. Had the perpetrator not thrown the black bag at Daisuke’s face before attempting to run off once more, the thief would have likely received a severe beating from the latter too. But Daisuke got what he wanted, so he busied himself with checking on Kyousuke while the security guards pinned the thief down and called the police.

“Baby, are you alright?!” Daisuke asked with worry when he found the cookie crouched in a corner, looking terrified.

“I t-think I’m okay now,” Mao replied shakily. “B-but what about our train?”

“Fuck, we’ve missed our train!” Daisuke cursed.

Both security guards were now watching the seemingly mad man as they kept the thief down on the ground, glancing at each other skeptically when they saw him speaking to his handbag.

“Thank you so much for helping me!” Daisuke then said to the security guards with a bow, bringing them back to reality. In all honesty, they did not know how to respond and nodded hesitantly in acknowledgment.

“And you,” Daisuke snarled, directing a threat toward the thief who was face-down on the floor, “You’re just lucky I didn’t get a hold of you, you son of a bitch.” And with that, Daisuke held on firmly to his bag and hurried back to the train station, unaware of the judgmental stares that followed behind him.

+++

Daisuke got out of the train after exactly two hours, three minutes, and twenty seven seconds, quickly taking the nearest taxi to the area where the lone mountain was located. With much coaxing from Daisuke, the taxi driver drove there as fast as he possibly could, posing a danger to all of their lives while he was at it.

“The road ends here, I’m afraid I can’t go any further,” the taxi driver said as he stopped abruptly near a dead end in some secluded area by the woods.

Daisuke sighed and offered the cab driver the money he owed him, getting out of the car as he clutched his handbag tightly to his chest. Even though there were no people around for miles, paranoia from the earlier theft made Daisuke suspicious that someone might come out of nowhere somehow and try to steal it, along with his boyfriend, again.

When the taxi drove off, Daisuke spoke to Kyousuke to update him on the status of their trip. “We’re not at the mountain yet, baby, but it’s not too far off. We can just walk there from here,” he informed, unconsciously tightening his hold on the bag even more and nearly crushing his boyfriend into a pile of finely ground cookie crumbs.

“Ugh…Daichan, can you at least not hold on so tight, you’re suffocating me,” came Mao’s strained voice from inside the bag.

Daisuke immediately loosened his grip with a meek “Sorry”.

“Can I just get out of this bag now, please? I doubt there’s anyone around to see me in the middle of nowhere,” Kyousuke beseeched with an unsubtle air of sarcasm in his tone.

“I...well…I guess so,” Daisuke hesitated. “But don’t you think it would be a better idea if you stayed inside until we find the Christmas fairy? It might be unsafe for a cookie to roam freely around an area like this.”

“Baby, I know you’re worried about me, but I’m honestly getting claustrophobic in here. Besides, I won’t be roaming freely, I have you. Just carry me in your hand or something,” the gingerbread man insisted, feeling a bit sick from being contained in the bag for so long. So this must be how packaged cookies feel like, Kyousuke thought fleetingly.

“Fine, I guess that should be okay…” Daisuke conceded, pulling his beloved out into the fresh air.

Kyousuke took a deep breath and relaxed into his lover’s palm. “Ah, this is much better! If I had to stay in there any longer I think I would’ve gone mad…and heaven knows at least one of us needs to stay sane,” he added lowly as an afterthought. Luckily the elder did not hear that little tidbit.

“We’d better get going now before the sun goes down, my little biscuit. We have a lot of ground to cover.”

“Wait, what did you just call me?” Kyousuke asked all of a sudden, in an oddly stern tone.

Daisuke was a little confused but continued walking forward. “Um…biscuit?”

Mao felt like he had been placed in a 350 degree pre-heated oven. “Please do not ever call me that again. I am a cookie, not a biscuit. Please get that straight next time.” For reasons that Mao could not justify, he felt unreasonably offended.

Daisuke froze, needing a moment to get over his shock. “Wait, this is coming from someone who, just a few hours ago, called himself a pastry? You’re a human being anyway for heavens’ sake, why should it matter if I call you a cookie, biscuit, or fucking fruitcake?!”

“You take that fruitcake comment back right now!”

“Mao! What has gotten into you?!” the elder spluttered with amazement. “You. Are. A. Human. A human being with flesh and bones, just like me! Even though it doesn’t seem like it right now. Have you forgotten that already?” For once, Daisuke was the voice of reason.

Kyousuke stared at his boyfriend with a blank expression for a several silent seconds. “Oh my god. I think I really am becoming a cookie. This may sound weird to you, but I think that the later it takes to reverse this godforsaken wish, the more permanent it becomes. Soon, even I won’t be convinced that I’m human anymore…” he said grievously when realization came upon him like a rolling pin.

“Shit, I think you’re right baby. In that case, I’ll find that fairy as fast as I fucking can, alright?” Daisuke declared. And with that, the couple was off in haste, determined to reach their destination before it was too late.

This whole cookie ordeal was far more serious than they even expected…

+++

Daisuke panted as he climbed up the last few meters of the mountain, finally collapsing when he reached flat land and a sign that read “Cedar Forest”. Ascending the lone mountain was far more challenging than Daisuke had predicted; it certainly did not look so steep from far away, so he had underestimated the difficulty of the climb.

Mao, on the other hand, stood in front of his boyfriend, who was lying face-down on the ground, encouraging him to get up. “Daichan!” he whined, “This is no time to relax, it’s already getting dark and we still have an entire forest to search!”

“I don’t think I can move,” Daisuke managed to say weakly.

“Oh my god, you’re wasting time! I’m over here dreaming about how nice it would feel to be dunked into a warm glass of milk right now, and you’re telling me you’ve given up searching for the Christmas fairy as I fall deeper into Candyland?!”

Daisuke shot up, suddenly rejuvenated. “I will not allow my boyfriend to remain a cookie for the rest of his life!” he proclaimed dramatically, dirt clinging onto his sweaty forehead. Mao lifted a frosting eyebrow. “Let’s go!” he then announced as he picked the gingerbread man up. Daisuke was about to step forward when he remembered something important. “Oh shit, we can’t go yet…”

“And why the hell not?” Kyousuke asked bluntly.

The older man scratched the back of his head with his free hand. “I was supposed to tell you, but with all that happened back at the train station, I didn’t get a chance.” The gingerbread man nodded for him to continue. “That Baba Ryouma guy from the magic shop messaged me earlier with another tip for finding the Christmas fairy…”

“And?”

Daisuke scoffed, “What ever happened to, ‘don’t interrupt people when they’re talking, Daisuke, it’s rude’,” he mocked in a sing-song, sarcastic tone.

“I’m sorry, sheesh! Go on.”

“As I was saying, the shopkeeper sent me a text and said we should look for the North Star, and that should guide us to the tallest cedar tree in the forest, where the fairy hangs out or something like that. In other words, we’re going to have to wait until it gets dark out.”

Kyousuke facepalmed, “So you’re saying we got here too early? Well that’s anticlimactic…what are we going to do now, and how the hell are we going to see anything when it gets that dark out? Forests are practically pitch-black at night,” he complained. “I have a feeling that by the time we find this Christmas fairy, I’m going to be begging to have Santa Claus eat me!”

“Nobody’s going to eat you on my watch,” Daisuke assured. “Unless it’s me, of course,” he insinuated with a little chuckle. Mao just groaned. “Anyway, since there’s nothing else we can do right now, I guess we can just relax here for a while until it gets dark. On the bright side, I installed a flashlight app on my phone a few days ago, so we can use that to help us, and besides, we shouldn’t have a problem seeing the stars from here at night. As long as we follow the North Star, we’ll know where we’re going.”

“Would you even know how to find the North Star let alone know how to follow it?” Kyousuke asked solemnly.

Daisuke took a seat, placing his boyfriend on his lap. “Why wouldn’t I? I was a boy scout when I was a kid, you know,” he replied casually.

If Mao’s gum drop eyes could grow wider, they would have. “I didn’t know that,” he exclaimed, impressed. “I’m so sorry I doubted you, baby.”

“That’s alright, love. I know I can be an airhead sometimes, but I’m good for something,” Daisuke bantered, though his face deceived his show of confidence.

The gingerbread man sighed and kissed his lover’s hand. “You’re not an airhead, alright. It’s true that at times you drive me crazy, but I only feel safe when I’m with you. I trust you with my life, Daichan. And I’m sure the current situation we’re in can prove that.” Daisuke smiled fondly. “If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve been ready to literally offer myself on a platter to some jolly old guy in a red suit. You are the only thing keeping me human right now.”

Daisuke lifted his boyfriend up and gave him a small peck on his red, licorice lips. “Sweet,” he said after pulling back, “…as always.”

“Aww, thank you, my love…” Mao crooned, feeling touched. “And this whole time I’d wanted to kiss you, but I thought you’d refuse because I still smell like garbage.”

Daisuke recalled the repulsive experience he had with the trash bin back in the city and wiped his mouth in disgust. “Bleh!”

Kyousuke sighed with understanding, “Can’t say I blame you. I really need a shower…”

+++

“Must. Be. Eaten. Must. Be. Eaten…” the gingerbread man’s mantra was not only starting to scare Daisuke half to death, but it was also starting to really annoy him. He had been searching tirelessly for the location of the Christmas fairy for hours already, with nothing but starlight and the aid of his cell phone’s flashlight app, so it was difficult to even see where he was going, let alone think straight. Mao’s constant nagging was not helping, either. Daisuke never dreamed that he would grow sick of hearing his boyfriend’s request to be “eaten”, but in this context, it was really getting out of hand.

“Will you please stop that, Mao! You’re a human being, not a cookie for Christ’s sake! Please snap out of it!”

After the millionth scolding from his boyfriend that night, Kyousuke shook himself out of his stupor and held on to whatever human spirit he had left in him. He had been fluctuating between feeling like a person and feeling like a cookie, and if Daisuke was not there to talk him out of it each time, he probably would have fully transitioned into an authentic gingerbread man at that point. If he had to guess, he would assume that he was at least 50% all-natural, gluten-free cookie by now (bless Daisuke for using the rice flour at least, Mao was allergic to gluten).

“Daichan, if we don’t find that Christmas fairy any time soon I’ll be desperate enough to throw myself at the next raccoon that passes by. I never realized cookies actually wanted to be eaten so badly until I became one,” Mao commented, feeling human again.

“We live and we learn, babe,” Daisuke responded distractedly, following the North Star. Keeping his gaze focused on the sky for a long period of time did not prove to be a bright idea, however, and for the second time that day, he tripped, this time falling over a branch on the pathway.

“Ah, fuck!”

“Oh, shit!”

When Daisuke fell belly-down on the ground, the cookie flew right out of his hands and into the air, making him easy prey for a hungry owl that happened to be flying by in the right place at the right time.

“Daisuke, help me!” Mao yelled in terror as the owl flew off with him.

“Mao! Mao! Oh my god!” Daisuke shouted, absolutely petrified. He was up in an instant and ran after the owl, but the bird was too high for him to catch. Nonetheless, Daisuke, desperate to save his boyfriend, was able to stay in tow with the predator until it landed up high on a tree. Shining his bright phone light on the cedar, Daisuke was relieved to see that his lover had not become bird food as of yet, still dangling from the owl’s feet. What he was more concerned about, however, was the fact that Kyousuke seemed to have fluctuated back to his “Cookie Lala-Land” state and did not even try resisting his predator.

“Eat me. Eat me,” the gingerbread man chanted, as if hypnotized. Luckily the bird did not understand him.

“Mao! Baby, you’re not a cookie! You are a human being, remember?! You’re my boyfriend and I love you, don’t let that bird eat you, you need to get down from there somehow!”

“Eat me. Eat me…”

Seeing that his boyfriend was far gone, Daisuke screamed at the top of his lungs, “Mao, no! You can’t get eaten, you are not a cookie, do you hear me?! Snap out of it!”

That seemed to do the trick. Mao was able to get out of his trance, and when he realized the situation he was in, he began to wail and struggle desperately. “Daichan, help me! I don’t want to die, please help me!” The owl then tried pecking at the gingerbread man’s head, but Kyousuke was able to dodge its dangerous beak.

“Mao, you need to try and jump down somehow, it’s the only way! The tree is too high for me to climb, I can’t get you!”

Kyousuke looked down, instantly getting dizzy when he became aware of how high above the ground he was. He never had been fond of heights.

“I can’t! It’s too high, I’m afraid I’ll break!”

“Just jump and I’ll catch you, baby! If you don’t get down here right now, you’ll be eaten for sure—AHH!” Daisuke panicked when the owl made another attempt to bite at the cookie. Fortunately, Kyousuke was able to turn enough to protect his head again, and the bird ended up plucking an M&M button off his chest instead.

“Okay, I’m going to jump, but you need to promise that you’ll catch me!” Mao finally surrendered, figuring he had no other choice.

Daisuke took the hem of his shirt and spread it out like a parachute, focused and ready to save his boyfriend. “I’ve got you, sweetheart! Just trust me!”

“Oh god,” Kyousuke mumbled, “here goes nothing…”

And before the owl could strike again, the cookie managed to bite its foot, causing the animal to free him reflexively when it screeched in pain.

“AHH!”

“I’ve got you, baby!” Daisuke yelled as he shuffled to the left and right to catch his boyfriend who was free-falling in the air.

“DAICHAN!—Oompf!”

+++

Daisuke began to cry, relief filling his lungs as he breathed deeply once he caught his beloved Mao in the safety net of his blouse.

“My love, thank heavens you’re alright!” Daisuke exclaimed, carrying his shaken boyfriend to his lips to kiss him. This time, he was unaffected by the cookie’s unsanitary state.

“Daichan, you saved me…” Kyousuke said breathlessly, “You actually saved me.”

“You didn’t think I’d let you fall and crumble into a million pieces, did you?”

Mao wept with joy; he never felt as human as he did right then. “Of course not, love...I always trust you.”

“Well isn’t this sweet!” came a voice out of nowhere, effectively ruining the couple’s happy reunion by startling them both half to death.

“What the fuck—”

“Who the hell—”

The huddled lovers looked around to see where the voice was coming from, but when they found no one, they wondered for a moment if they had been mistaken.

“There’s no one here except us, Daichan. Maybe I was just imagining things…”

“How could that be when I heard it too...?”

“You weren’t hearing things, that was just me,” came the same giddy voice once again.

“Who are you and what do you want?!” Daisuke called, holding the frightened gingerbread man closer, “Show yourself!”

“I’m up here,” the voice sang.

Daisuke and Kyousuke looked up simultaneously, and what they found left them both gasping in amazement.

A magnificent fairy, glowing bright white, stood on the highest branch of the massive cedar tree, his eyes glowing such a bright blue that they were apparent, even from a distance.

“I-is that the Christmas fairy?” Daisuke asked in awe, unable to pry his eyes off of the glowing creature.

“I-I t-think it is,” the cookie stuttered in response, equally entranced.

“Indeed. I am the Christmas fairy,” the ethereal being announced, suddenly glowing with a brighter aura right before jumping to the ground with ease. He then faced the startled couple in all his glory.

Up close, the fairy looked like a much enlarged, perfected version of the figurine back at home.

While Daisuke pondered the sheer size of the fairy, who was even taller than he was, Mao built up the courage to make his plea. “M-Mr. Christmas fairy…”

“Please, call me Koni,” the fairy insisted with exaggerated flamboyancy, tossing his hair back like a pageant queen. 

The couple looked at one another skeptically, shocked at Koni’s mannerisms.

After a brief pause, Kyousuke broke the awkward silence by continuing his spiel, “W-well…you see, I made a wish—”

“You wished to be a gingerbread man,” Koni interrupted pretentiously. “I know, I remember you.”

“Will you just let him continue what he was saying?!” Daisuke exclaimed. Watching as a third party made him realize how annoying it was to be interrupted. He made a mental note never to do that again.  

Koni turned toward Daisuke. “It looks like someone here wants his boyfriend to remain a cookie forever…” he threatened with a dangerous smile.

Daisuke covered his mouth and bowed with a sincere apology, afraid of getting on the fairy’s bad side. He purposely avoided eye contact with his boyfriend while he was at it, knowing that Mao must have been glaring at him for almost ruining his chance to be human again.

“Please forgive him for being foolish,” Kyousuke apologized to Koni in his sweetest voice. “Since I’m sure you know why I’m here, could you please reverse this wish so we can go home? Please,” he begged earnestly.

The fairy looked at his fingernails, seeming uninterested as he said, “Well that depends…what did you get for me?”

“Oh! We got you something you’ll love!” Daisuke spluttered, flailing as he tried to find the gift that Baba Ryouma had given them as an offering. “Oh my…fuck…” he hissed, feeling panic rise to his throat when he didn’t find the jar of glitter in his handbag.

Kyousuke, who was standing by, began growing anxious. “Daichan, you do have the gift, right?” he asked worriedly, praying that his boyfriend had not lost their only hope.

Every drop of blood drained from Daisuke’s face as he turned to his lover with dread. “It…seems that I lost it,” he quivered.

“If you don’t have anything, I can’t help you,” Koni remarked indifferently, turning around to leave.

The gingerbread man desperately followed the fairy and begged, “No! Please don’t leave me like this! I beg you! I-I’ll do anything, anything! Just don’t let me stay a cookie forever!”

Koni turned around, putting a finger to his lip, contemplating, “Well…I suppose there is one thing you can give me,” he sang playfully.

“Whatever you want! Just ask me anything! If you’d like, I’ll buy you whatever you ask for…hell, you can even have all my money if you want it!”

“And mine as well!” Daisuke piped in, “Tell us what you desire and we’ll give it to you! Just please let me have my boyfriend back!”

Koni smirked. “Actually, I had something else in mind.”

“What is it?!” Daisuke urged as Mao looked on hopefully.

The fairy hesitated a moment before blurting, “A kiss.”

The couple was taken aback. The Christmas fairy wanted a kiss? But from whom…and why?

“W-what do you mean?” Kyousuke questioned, perplexed.

“I want you to kiss me. Once you’re human again, of course,” Koni said as his face grew red. “You know…your lips on mine,” he giggled shyly.

“Hey!” Daisuke protested, feeling jealousy override his reason. “Nobody’s kissing my boyfriend, you got that!”

“Well, will you look at the time…” the fairy drawled, pretending to check his wrist as if there was a watch on it. “Just five minutes until midnight.”

“Daichan!”

“Okay, okay!” Daisuke surrendered. “Just one kiss and that’s it!” Or else you’ll get one in the kisser, he thought bitterly.

“I don’t mind giving you a kiss, but can you please make me human again before it’s too late?!” Mao pleaded, growing increasingly anxious with each passing second.

“Very well then,” Koni enunciated with another flip of his hair. “But be warned, if you don’t hold your part of the deal, I’ll make you both cookies and the birds will be picking at your bodies by morning,” he added as a threat with his eyes narrowed.

Kyousuke gulped nervously. “I intend to keep my part of the promise. Now please help me.”

Koni nodded, and in a matter of seconds, he began turning around in circles faster and faster as he gracefully lifted his arms up in the air.

The force of the fairy’s power alone was enough to shed a blinding light around them all, but when Daisuke was able to open his eyes again, the first thing he saw was…

“Mao! Mao, honey, you’re back to normal!” he celebrated, attacking his boyfriend with a tight embrace.

“Daichan, you’re not a giant anymore!” Kyousuke cried, hugging his boyfriend with equal force before checking out his arms and legs to make sure he was human.

“I missed you so much, baby,” Daisuke said lovingly as he gave his boyfriend a deep kiss.

Koni cleared his throat, “Ehem,” he interrupted, cutting the couple’s moment short as they pulled back awkwardly.

“Sorry,” Mao apologized. “It was rude of me not to thank you properly for your help. I really, really appreciate—”

“I believe you owe me something,” the fairy said bluntly, impatiently awaiting his reward.

Kyousuke sighed and approached the fairy to give him a kiss. Daisuke was almost tempted to pull him back but he had no choice but to refrain from doing so, much to his dismay.

“Y-you’re much prettier than I remember from earlier.” Koni stuttered with a blush when Mao got very close.

Daisuke’s face burned with jealousy. “Son of a bitch had his eye on my boyfriend this whole damn time,” he muttered inaudibly.

“I’m going to give you your kiss now. Just close your eyes, okay?” Kyousuke commanded sweetly, revealing his famous dimpled smile. Koni practically melted into a puddle of goo as he did what he was told, while Daisuke grumbled angrily in the background. “Are you ready?” he then asked seductively, eyeing a frog on the ground nearby.

Koni giggled, “I am,” he trilled with excitement, bouncing a little on his heel.

“Well then, pucker up, big boy…”

And with that, Mao swiftly grabbed the frog and placed it to Koni’s lips for a few moments, allowing the fairy to savor the so-called kiss. Needless to say, Daisuke stopped complaining.

When Koni finally opened his hazy eyes, Kyousuke flashed him another brilliant smile, which nearly caused him to faint.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Daisuke cut in, grabbing his boyfriend by the arm to pull him away. “You got your kiss, so we need to go now,” he snapped at the fairy.

“Okay, well um…I hope I see you again next year,” Koni said dreamily, waving at Mao like a love-sick girl.

Kyousuke just gave the fairy a wink and Daisuke pulled him away in haste as they made their way back home.

“You didn’t have to flirt with him so much, you know,” Daisuke complained once they were a good distance away.

“Aw c’mon, I just feel bad that I didn’t even kiss him, the least I could do is flirt a little. I think he had a crush on me,” Kyousuke replied, glad that his lover couldn’t see his sly grin in the dark.

The older man scoffed, “Puh-lease! He didn’t have a crush on you, he was probably just desperate and found the perfect opportunity. Fucking pervert…”

Mao laughed good-naturedly, amused by his lover’s jealous rant. “Well I didn’t kiss him. My lips belong to you, and you only,” he assured his lover.

“You’ve got that right,” Daisuke exclaimed. “You’re all mine and only mine…and when we get home, we’re going to take a hot shower together and I’m going to eat you all up,” he said suggestively.

Kyousuke stopped in his tracks. “Daichan?”

“Yeah babe?”

“Please don’t ever use that innuendo with me again.”

“Sure babe.”

And with that, the couple continued on their way home as a non-diegetic rendition of Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want For Christmas’ played in the background.

THE END.